“Your life is harder than most people’s.” I can relate to hearing this too. And yet I cannot help but think that the times I hear this are from people who make it hard instead of coming from a place of support and understanding.
I have definitely experienced that, too. It's hard to know that they see the situation and either don't understand or know how to help or choose not to.
I've definitely contemplated before how different our reality is from that of almost all of our friends' and families'. My husband and I are parenting three kids adopted from foster care, with all of the predictable challenges and special needs. It's true: our lives are harder in many ways than most people's are.
And yet, even as people have expressed that same sentiment to us in an effort to be supportive, I can't help feeling a little pitied or, sometimes, a trace of "I'm so glad I'm not in your shoes." Then I get up in my ego and I want to prove that things aren't that bad. We don't need pity. We don't need to be treated differently. We can do it all.
But we really really can't. As you said in your piece, even just the tiniest shift or disruption can cause huge ripples in our home life and really basically just fuck all our shit up for a long time. It's hard to bump up against our limitations so often.
Oh I feel that so deeply! Yes, we're bumping up against those invisible boundaries all the dang time! And I can totally related to the crazy cycle that comes with figuring out how to relate our reality to the way others reflect that back to what I want things to be like to actual reality and back again. It can all make me feel a little manic. Glad to hear I am not alone in the crazy! :)
“Your life is harder than most people’s.” I can relate to hearing this too. And yet I cannot help but think that the times I hear this are from people who make it hard instead of coming from a place of support and understanding.
I have definitely experienced that, too. It's hard to know that they see the situation and either don't understand or know how to help or choose not to.
I've definitely contemplated before how different our reality is from that of almost all of our friends' and families'. My husband and I are parenting three kids adopted from foster care, with all of the predictable challenges and special needs. It's true: our lives are harder in many ways than most people's are.
And yet, even as people have expressed that same sentiment to us in an effort to be supportive, I can't help feeling a little pitied or, sometimes, a trace of "I'm so glad I'm not in your shoes." Then I get up in my ego and I want to prove that things aren't that bad. We don't need pity. We don't need to be treated differently. We can do it all.
But we really really can't. As you said in your piece, even just the tiniest shift or disruption can cause huge ripples in our home life and really basically just fuck all our shit up for a long time. It's hard to bump up against our limitations so often.
Thanks for sharing.
Oh I feel that so deeply! Yes, we're bumping up against those invisible boundaries all the dang time! And I can totally related to the crazy cycle that comes with figuring out how to relate our reality to the way others reflect that back to what I want things to be like to actual reality and back again. It can all make me feel a little manic. Glad to hear I am not alone in the crazy! :)
Thank you for stating this out loud, I couldn’t agree more! #FarrahNaykaAshline
Definitely relatable with myself ADHD and a few of our kiddos so far ND!
Thanks Kelly! So glad this resonated.